Brain-dead

man... students today are crazy. we push ourselves all week and then collapse on friday. if it weren't for play practice (10/1-10/3, ask for tickets), Sinatra, and classical guitar, i'd have fallen asleep as soon as I got home at 3:45 or so. as it is, i am brain-dead typing into my blog. can you tell i'm national merit semifinalist?

but come to think of it, this is the first friday night so far this school year that was not spent cruisin' cincy w/ friends. ah well

hmm... i need to do homework for independent study courses tomorrow. I've started to let AP Gov slip.

my bible class this year is great. I think i'll post an excerpt of my journal for that class for your personal enjoyment.

"...Whether or not [God] exists, a sort of God that is not supernatural is inevitable. Humans are social creatures, and creative and intelligent creatures. I have found that, in personal and human psychology, thought arises when diametrically opposed concepts and situations are tensed against eachother. When sufficient instances are composed, many thoughts exist -> it could be said that a mind has been created.

I see no reason for the mind to be constrained to the biological boundaries of a neurological mass. In a civilization, society, and/or culture, many such instances of opposite tensions exist -> life/death, dominance/subservience, rich/poor, male/female, &c.. Thus a mind will arise within the socio-cultural boundaries of any people. This mind will contain both truths specific to that people and truths universal to all humanity...

It is by an understanding such as this that the value of the Bible is understood. It has many authors, so it has ample opportunity to voice the full nature of that God. The Bible is the writing of that God. It also contains and encapsulates that God—-serious study seeks to give that God voice again through exegesis. Hermeneutics, in reality, is simply listening to the conversations and debates--perhaps watching the battles--between that God and our modern God..."

hmm. such is my heresy. Of course, my beliefs are not certain. I apologize for the poor writing——this is verbatim out of my hand-written and un-edited journal, and I am too tired to edit it. this really isn't entirely in the scope of the course... but it does serve to elaborate on my presuppositions.

oh yah. here's what my teacher—-with a Ph.D. in religious studies or something who is getting teaching experience for university work--said was possibly the most memorable quote of his teaching career:

"There is something sexy about self-organizing dynamic systems."

take it as you will ;)

I'm starting to get Villa-Lobos. maybe i'll have guitar lesson this weekend. i'll need to call mr. mccutcheon tomorrow.

I went to a college thing w/many of my top choice colleges—-confirmed that brown's financial aid is all need-based. so no merit. urgh. UofC is still possible.

I need to work on getting a dumpster for recycling. gave a talk on our poetry service project in 10th grade on tuesday. missed all my APs(ouch) but it was worth it. esp. for resume ;)

and the mars thing seems more possible with each day. we shall see.

g'night.

-=-raptur-=-

Rosh-Hashana Tov

My extraordinarily limited knowledge of Hebrew thinks that that says "Good New Year"

Welcome to year 5,765

hm. A Jewish holiday falls on my birthday.
Our last night together was on the Summer Solstice.
Beginnings?

Mebbe I'm just dumb. Any sufficiently determined and convinced moron can envision a ghost from a bedsheet.
Or mebbe any sufficiently experienced and imaginative poet can derive full fragrance from flower.

I draw music from stretched nylon and wood.

But I'm probably just dumb.

If only x,y,z, and t would coincide.

-=-raptur-=-

maybe things happen

I just realized the night before last, as I lay in my bed, that I had only three days left before I was completely ineligible for Boy Scouts. Seems strange how things like this simply slip away.

And last Thursday, the Ninth, I was walking to my car for school when I noticed something. My house is right across the corner of the bus stop from which I departed for school from Kindergarten through Sixth grade. On Thursday, it was empty. My neighborhood has grown up with me.

Tomorrow I pass from the growing to the grown for one year—then begin anew.

How curious.

As one grown, am I all I hoped?

Can I look my seventh-grade eyes straight-on without wavering? Second-grade? Pre-school?
That time-less self existing throughout before and after?

Let us hope.

*begins to ascend the stairs of supernatural scrutiny*

-=-raptur-=-

my body wigged out

gotta love infections. Humble "hand foot and mouth" turned into "torture me" when my body freaked. ah well. haven't been able to play guitar for days... urgh.

And now i get to catch up from two missed days. I should work on my lines(playing Mr. Webb in "Our Town").

Think my english teacher'll accept a stream-of-consciousness essay? it's supposed to be a personal narrative. It is. but SoC too. So SoC that my thesis is a rhetorical question utlizing ellipsis and intentional sentence fragment. I'll find out ^_^

I need to shave.

2 days until i'm legal ;)

-=-raptur-=-